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Thank goodness it’s not just me!

January 4, 2010

Over the weekend I was able to get back in touch with a high school friend whom I haven’t talked with in over a year. And it was awesome. It was like no time had passed, which it always is.

But the best part of the conversation came when she was telling me about a friend of hers:

Emma: I have this friend, right?
Her parents are both professors
and, as she says, she’s black, she’s a woman, and the daughter of two highly educated people, so her drive to suceed is INSANE
I mean this girl’s back up plans have back up plans
and my one piece of comfort
is that she is our age
and she is JUST AS apathetic/confused/planless as we are
me: Oh thank god
I feel like such a loser sometimes
Thank god it’s not just me

I feel as though, as a 26-year old college graduate, I should have something resembling a CLUE about life by now.

I mean, I have a plan.

I want to have kids by the time I’m thirty and stay home with them and run a day care until they’re old enough to go to school and then I will resume my totally awesome career doing… something.

And that’s where my plan falls apart. I can see myself being a mom. I can see my husband being a dad. But what do I want to be doing for a JOB? And I don’t know. I don’t have a freaking clue. Which is part of why I started this blog, if you hadn’t already figured that part out.

People older and wiser than me tell me that there’s plenty of time. Well, it doesn’t feel like there’s plenty of time. I’m sure they’re right, but …

But I feel like, at 26, I should have a clue. It seems like many of my friends from college (i.e., the same age as me) know what they’re doing, but it’s all just surface level. Almost all of them are floundering as much as I am. And part of me feels bad to be relieved by that, but I’m really freaking relieved by it.

Still, if I’m going to be a millionaire, I’ve got to get crackin’. That’s the other part of my plan. The LONG term part. I am going to be a millionaire, but it seems kind of distant when I still don’t even know what I’m going to do on a daily basis, let alone to amass my millions.

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